The Sound of Silence

 The cosmic truths are often revealed to us in the most unusual manner. Long time ago, a friend said to me- " There is a deep silence within you - let it speak". For many of us, who are mired in the mundanity of existence, clamouring to make a living - it is easy for the silence to be drowned by the noise of the external world, our own conditioning and the chattering mind which the peacock feathered Lord compares to a monkey jumping from one branch to another, faltering, falling, yet jumping again all the time. One often tries to control this monkey with the power of one's reasoning or will. The monkey remains still under duress for a while, and then starts jumping up and down with renewed energy.  How can one then hear the voice of the silence? How does it speak?

In the Shakta tradition, the silence within represents Shiva or the Universal soul present within the person and then, the speech of the Silence is Shakti or Goddess - the movement, the flow, the inward and outward movement of breath often described as "So - Hum" or the primordial sound that reverberates in tune with the silent cosmos as the Pranava mantra " Om".

People often talk of channelizing the inner Goddess without a clue about what it actually entails. It is identifying with the deep silence that speaks; being cognizant of the pulsation of kundalini energy as it traverses various chakras in its upward movement and harnessing the serpentine power inherent in the trident. It is the gentle sound of the breeze touching the filament of Spider Woman's web as it curves inward honoring the power of wind that is inherent in the breeze, the throbbing sound of one's own heart as it becomes aware of the blissful vibrant stillness... 

Traditions of Goddess worship across the world emphasize the importance of moving from the outer circle to the inner or the centre, in ritualistic enactment of a journey or quest until the vision, quest, and circle disappear, and the inner and the outer merge - margins become the centre and vice versa in a wonderful plurality that is not really plural. 

Silence and noise are just aberrations within one's perception... they exist as polar opposites because one chooses to perceive these that way.  Our intellect is used to categorization and binary thinking, and this prevents us from hearing the speech/sound of the silence and the silence within the "noise".

When the silence speaks, all one needs to do is listen to it and fold one's hands in prayer to the Goddess seated within one's heart, for making the silence speak, and for giving us the ability to listen and merge with it, and witness the cosmic play manifest even in random moments in life...

Understanding Gaia, the Greek goddess…

The first glimpse of Gaia that I had was when I saw a painting by my artist friend John from Inverness which he posted on his face book page as “Our Lady of Birds”, some time back. The painting had a powerful impression on me, and I kept thinking that the home to which the painting will eventually belong, would be, truly blessed. The next time I saw Gaia, whose idol became very popular with many of his customers, was in my friend Jonathan’s shop in Halifax. I was impressed by her cosmic belly which contained the entire world and a phrase from Lalitha  Sahasranamam came to my mind: Aneka Kodi Brahmanda Janani, a Sanskrit epithet, which describes the Goddess as the one who carried the seeds of millions of universes in her womb and who is the Creatrix of them all. I also realized that Gaia was still popular in many Pagan worship traditions and rituals in Europe and the Gaia theory or hypotheses propounded by James Lovelock and Lynn Margoulis  has its roots in the myth of Gaia, and her role in creating and sustaining the world.

Gaia can be seen as a paradigm for the worship of the Earth Goddess- the parallels of which can be found in different traditions across the world. Gaia’s Pre-Greek etymological origins suggest various things like life, world in totality, residing in the worldly or material sphere etc. The Greek legend suggests that Gaia came into existence from Chaos, the Greek God and she in turn brought forth her husband Uranus, (heaven or sky) to cover her on all the sides. She also caused Uranus to be the abode of all Gods.  From their union, came into existence, Zeus their son, who became the Supreme ruler of the Gods. (According to some versions, Zeus is the son of Cronus who is the son of Gaia and Uranus.)

Gaia is the Creatrix from whom all the creation in this world sprang up. In that sense, she is like the Spider Woman, the Creatrix of the Universe in the Navajo tradition of North America. The union of Gaia who evolved from Chaos and Uranus, resulting in the creation of the Gods who ruled the world, could be understood in a spiritual sense as the merging of the body and the soul or of individual soul with the vastness of space and the experience of Divinity inherent in that journey.  The story of Gaia and her union which resulted in creation of the Titans, the giants and of Pontus, the sea which saw the creation of the primordial sea gods is relevant in understanding the various natural phenomenon in our world. Gaia’s fury which caused the birth of Titans or even the monster Typhoeus, the storm giant is relevant to our understanding of what is happening in our world today.

We see evidence of Gaia’s fury in the floods, earthquakes and tsunamis that evoke mass destruction and are meant to protest against humanity’s unjust treatment of the Mother Earth and the living and non-living beings in it. It is interesting to note that Gaia hypotheses propose that living organisms interact with their inorganic surroundings on Earth to form a synergistic and self – regulating, complex system that helps maintain and perpetuate the conditions for life on the planet. Even though this theory has been challenged for lack of empirical evidence to support it and also for its lack of connection to the Evolutionary theory, it is still very significant in that it resonates with the beliefs of certain North American tribes. Most of the Shamanic traditions believe in the interconnections between the Organic and Inorganic worlds. So, Gaia hypothesis has a lot of relevance from the spiritual perspective.

In the pantheon of ancient Greek gods and goddesses, Gaia enjoys a special place in the sense that she is the mother of them all: heavenly gods, beings of the ocean, and mortals in the world. Worship of Gaia will help us understand the interconnections or webs that weave our universe and the need to walk in balance. It is very interesting to decode the myth of Gaia and tap into her energies to decipher some of the themes that govern the life on earth, and also our own journeys to re-connect with the centre. Gaia’s relationship with Uranus signifies the convergence of two planes- body and soul, energy in manifested Universe to the potent stillness of the Un-manifested/ Space. For a seeker, this implies tapping into the cosmic energies that lay dormant in our own bodies/nature/earth, and connecting with them so that we can be covered by the sky (Uranus)or vast infinity that is the abode of Gods, even as we inhabit this material world, and learn, as Native Americans would reiterate, to Walk in Beauty...

Creatrix as the source of everything that is manifested - fostering connections with her …

In Goddess cosmology, Goddess is the source of all thought, all existence. Native Americans believed that everything originated from the thought of the Thought woman whose thought gave shape and existence to all creatures in this world.  A similar belief can be perceived across cultures where Goddess worship follows certain ritualized patterns of thought, perception and being.

In Lalitha Sahasranama, the thousand names of the Mother Goddess, She is described as Bhavani    (one who causes the existence of the material world/one who is the consort of Lord Shiva),Bhavangamya( one who can be evoked through consciousness- the one who can be reached through thought/perception) and Bhavaranya kudariga( one who can cut us of from the forest that is the material existence the way an axe cuts the trees). In other words, the Goddess who causes existence can be perceived in her essence as the power of consciousness/thought and her presence in our lives can be felt through power of intuition/perception or meditation. This perception, in turn, helps us sever ourselves from the bondages of material existence even as we go through the humdrum of existence and perform various roles that we are meant to perform in our lifetime.

Goddess as the consort of Shiva or Goddess as the energy force that drives the matter is acknowledged for her role in illuminating one’s consciousness. Goddess is also Bhadrapriya,( one who is fond of everything that is auspicious , she is Bhadramoorthy, one who is the embodiment of everything that is auspicious( in ourselves and the world) and Bhakta Soubhagyadayini, one  who provides both material and spiritual advancement to her devotees.

The aspects of the Goddess  described are particularly relevant to our understanding of the Goddess path and all it entails whatever name you chose to call the Goddess by or whichever culture you belong to… What is really fascinating is the journey itself where the worship of the Goddess who can be reached through the Thought or Meditation eventually helps the devotee free himself or herself from the influences of the material world, while  being in it  living in it, acting according to its patterns..

Goddess Ontology:Language that transcends binaries...

The Goddess is all pervading... all pervasive. The language of Goddess Ontology across different cultures -be it Egyptian, Assyrian, Greek, Roman, Celtic, Norse, Mayan, Aztec, Inca, Assyrian, Native American or Indian - tries to reiterate this through a series of expressions which apparently look like binaries in the common parlance of the language. The Goddess is the Doer, the Deed and the Act of Doing....she is present in all of these. The language used to express her Omnipresence would, at first, seem like a mere play of words, but the metalanguage expresses something beyond that. The word "beyond" is extremely important to our understanding of the Goddess. In Sanskrit, the equivalent word is "para", which is slightly more evocative than its English translation.

In Lalitha Sahasranama, the thousand names of the Mother Goddess(which is supposed to contain  the principle of creation, sustenance and dissolution of this cosmos and all beyond that), She is addressed as Kshethraswaroopa, the One whose form is the temple, Kshethreshi, the One who owns/rules the temple and Kshethrajnapalini, the One who sustains or protects the Kshethrajna or the worshipper who is the owner of the temple that is her body. What this tells us is that while we tend to look at the external edifice like the temple and revere it as the Dwelling place of the Goddess, it is important understand that one's own body is her temple. Since we own our bodies, we are also kshetrajnas , the people/souls/minds responsible for sustaining these, and the Goddess is the ultimate protector, guide/ guardian.

The Lalitha Sahasranama, while categorizing these three as separate, is in fact, trying to reinforce the Oneness. Apparently, what seems like distinct entities - the temple, the worshipper and the act of worship - become merged in the plurality of the all-encompassing Goddess Ontology, which creates binaries in order for us to understand them in their essence - which is the Goddess herself.

What this, in turn, means is that we need to worship the Goddess as the Light that dwells in Our own bodies...It also tells us to safeguard the body which is her temple.

The role of Intentions and Actions as we walk the path...

 What is the role of the intent and the actions as one walks the path? Of late,I find myself mulling over the dichotomy between intentions and actions in our lives. It is easy to blame our karma for actions or lack of actions on our part. I have seen people use this as a defense mechanism to cover up their own confusion or lethargy.I do it too,sometimes. 

Intention to be true to the path - let it choose things for us - is a good one. But at the same time,is it right to attribute our own inaction to karma or term it "surrender"? Scriptures emphasize the importance of right actions and the need to act: the need to choose even when the choices given are not what we thought they might be or what we want. The peculiar thing about the human mind or intelligence is that once we get what we thought we wanted - we realize that this was not quite so.Sometimes,we find ourselves plagued by a peculiar sense of emptiness- a state - not full by the virtue of its being empty- but experiencing its own lack of completion, beset by a peculiar craving for something that cannot really be described in words.The state of wanting and getting what we want leads to this sense of emptiness -  a lack of completeness.

Human mind is often lethargic and fails to act at the right moment."I have surrendered - let the path decide for me".This is a common statement I have heard people make. When they say this, they completely forget  that it is the path that has indeed given them these chances to break the karmic cycle through right and timely action- and the failure to act,however difficult the choices are- does not serve to free one from the cycle of karma. What prevents us from making the choice? What prevents us from seeing the chances offered by the path to act?The answer lies in the word "Desire".

Is it possible then to let go of "wanting" and simply "be"? In that case, don't we have to make choices in life? The answer is:we cannot but choose at every juncture in life.The path will guide us in our choices if the surrender is complete -  but ultimately, we make the choices, the decisions. Karmic cycle is difficult to break- but the beauty of every iteration of existence is that it gives us several chances to make the choice.It is important to see these and capitalize on these.

"You are what your deep,driving desire is. As your desire is,so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is,so is your destiny. [ Brihadaranyaka IV.4.5 ]” 

Our Intention to walk the path gets clouded by our deep seated desires - often unacknowledged. Even if the person acknowledges these,it is very difficult to let go of them. The inability to let go is often caused by the perplexing questions:"What next? What then?" It is also caused by the fear of the unknown or the fear of emptiness and not knowing. All of us are beset by these perplexing thoughts and feelings. We do not want to even acknowledge that these exist- because acknowledging them makes them very real for us. Then, there is no mask for us to hide from them. In that case,what is the right thing to do?  

Face them bravely - acknowledge and let go. The path will guide us through the pain of letting go - however difficult that might be. It is alright not to know the answer/s to the "whats and hows'".We need to go on making choices,we need to act. The Master will hold our hand and point out the direction in which further choices lay. Freed from our own desires, we will be free to choose once again. We choose what the path wants us to choose and that will be the right choice. The choice, then, is not driven by desire but our intentions and timely actions. In this, also lies the ultimate act of surrender. 

If our intent is to reach the centre that is no centre - the place of the Goddess - she will definitely hold our hand as we make the choices in life and act on them, however difficult they are, or they seem to be - at that moment.

Trust and Faith

Trust and faith.... these two words have been playing on my mind for a while now.  Two words that are often upper most in an any seeker's mind...Are they one and the same or is there any difference? How do these words play themselves out in our journey as we re-trace the various filaments of the Spider web and go back to the Centre, the Origin and source, to the Creatrix of all things?

Oxford dictionary defines " trust "as "to rely on, depend on or believe in something or someone". It goes without saying that along with trust comes that element of hope or expectation being met from the other person/situation, which is absolutely essential for the feeling to last. It involves an act of commitment from the person/ seeker. Trust often requires proof or validation... We trust the words of people based on their veracity. In the Goddess path, this doesn't always hold good. For the seeker, empirical verification of mystical experiences is not always possible - these experiences have a temporal /spatial dimension which is quite removed from our experience of everyday realities. Often, the reliability of information/experiences can be questioned if we look at them in the light of their empiricism.  I have often been perplexed by this... 

Why is trust in something not just enough?  Many times, I have found myself relying on my ability to trust in people or situations and I never got anywhere close to the answer. I have been dwelling on this for a long time and then suddenly, in the last few days, the answer came to me. The word is "Faith"... and, yes, there is a difference, subtle but significant, between trust and faith, even though both are essential to a person traveling on the Goddess path.  Faith does not depend on empirical verification or seek justification for the way things are. Rather, it is absolute belief which is beyond proof or attempts to validate. Faith is complete surrender and complete acceptance - a state of being which will transform itself into a state of becoming - a journey which leads us through the baffling uncertainty of chaos to the comfortable certainty of chaos, a significant aspect of what we call Kundalini or Goddess energy, which manifests itself as we travel towards the Centre which is no Centre...

Faith doesn't wait for moments of reciprocity, the way trust does...it helps us to move on even when we are not fully conscious of Goddess responding to call of our soul or that hand guiding us unseen... Faith, then, is not an act of the senses, the way trust sometimes is...Whether miracles happen along the way or proof is provided at various junctures, these hardly matter when there is faith. These are merely manifestations of the larger reality which chose to manifest itself because of its own will... The journey, however, must and will continue, whether we are aware of the milestones we cross or not. Faith will help us perceive even the pain/obstacles we encounter in our journey, as acts of abundant grace from the Mother Goddess...  

It is indeed this faith that makes the Sufi poet Rumi say, “My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that, and I intend to end up there.” 

Karma and the choices we make...

We are responsible for the choices that we make; and these choices determine how we live our lives. Often, the options are put forth in front of us -as a result of our previous karma. Karma has a huge role to play in developing our vasanas (impressions or aptitudes for certain phenomenon carried over from previous births) - people, situation and things. Even our desires are guided to a large extent by these vasanas and we often fall prey to these and let them guide our choices. According to Sartre, the existential philosopher, we have the freedom to make choices but actually no freedom not to make choices. To a large extent, this holds true even when we are walking on the Goddess path. Even the act of not choosing also becomes a choice... but the difference here is that the desire or lack of it in this matter, is guided by what the path wants for you...

"What you want is not important, what the Goddess wants of you/for you is important..." my Master often reminds me. I used to get baffled by this statement... "How will I know the difference?" I looked at him and asked him this question once. He answered, " You will know when you have to make a choice". I was a bit confused at this. At that point, I remember telling him; "I don't want anything the path doesn't want for me... and I want everything it wants for me ..." Easier said than done, I realized later. We are all made of flesh and blood- and all the emotions resultant there of...It is also very easy to attribute our choices to the Goddess or the path, even when it is we who ultimately make the choice...

Is there a difference? Is it possible to know whether our choices are guided by our mundane desires or by the path? The answer is...Yes. But then, we will have to continually ask ourselves these questions to get the right answer. The catch here is that we take the path for granted and forget to ask these questions of ourselves. Our karmas will definitely come in our way in terms of vasanas, desires etc. But then, if we have firm faith in the path and surrender ourselves to it, the goddess energies will guide us, even as the voices around us or our own chattering mind, try to confuse/confound us.

We often slip and fall - become prey to our own desires, cravings..., but this is also alright as long as we are honest with ourselves. Sometimes, even these acts can negate previous karma or create new karmic debts. Sometimes, it is not even within our control. So, what should we do? Honestly acknowledge these and move on... Observe the lessons learnt... Be a witness to what is happening in our own lives. Sometimes, the fall is necessary to enhance the determination to re-connect with the goddess. Even as we slip and fall, we become more conscious of the need to re-connect to Spider Woman's web-the source from which all energy flows; all beings come into existence in this world. We also become more and more conscious of our role as beings that lend essence/ substance to each filament of the web, beings that emanate light - as translucent as the filaments of the web caught in sunlight...